Wednesday, 17 December 2008

Hong Kong and Phooey.

I’ve been away for a week but it seems that nowt’s changed.

First things first though – Hong Kong was fucking magnificent!

Highlights included :-

1. Eating Dim Sum on the worlds biggest floating restaurant and not throwing up.
2. Riding round Aberdeen harbour (no not that one) on a sampan driven by a wizened old Chinese bloke who didn’t speak English and used his foot to steer.
3. Having high tea at the oldest colonial hotel (The Peninsula) in Hong Kong.
4. Drinking very expensive Martini’s in the lounge of another very impressive hotel with the best view you can get of the HK skyline at night
5. Visiting the famous ‘Big Buddha’ (no not Jade Goody) and then riding the worlds highest, longest and scariest cable car back down the mountain.
6. Eating what was alleged to be a vegetarian chinese meal, not knowing what it was and still not finding out to this day – tasted a bit meaty to me like...
7. Going to Happy Valley Racecourse at night and mingling (and drinking with..) all the locals. Somehow making friends with a group of middle-aged chinese women who couldn’t speak English but still mocked all my horse choices – I did pick two winners though!
8. Inventing a new insult* based on a real place in the Hong Kong area.

Whilst I was there I noticed on the BBC world news that our Euro masters had decreed that the Irish people had to vote again on the Lisbon treaty as they had the cheek to not want to be run from Brussels (well any more than they actually are). It used to be said that if voting changed anything they’d abolish it – well now that seems to be the case.

It turns out that where the euro lobby are concerned that you either don’t get to vote (us for example) or if you do you’re not allowed to vote ‘No’ – didn’t Hitler have the same tactics? Just a thought.

Oh, one other thing, I’ve got a story appearing in the new issue of ‘True Faith’ which is out this Friday entitled ‘Daddy’s Gone’ – it’s a first for me in that I wrote it to order. They wanted stuff that was short (1000 words), Geordie related, involved Newcastle United in some way and was a bit gritty.

Right up my street really.

See you later

* my new insult accurately describes all MP’s and MEP’s really – they’re all a bunch of Mong Kok’s

Wednesday, 3 December 2008

Dim Scum

There’s a lot happened this week.

For instance a member of the opposition party in a country where the man in charge wasn’t elected by the population is arrested for bringing to light the failings of the home office (that’s our country I’m talking about by the way!). Interestingly the force that carried out the arrest is run by a man vying for the top police job in the country - who gets that job will be decided by the home secretary – the unelected Prime Minister’s mate and the person most under fire for the failings of the Home Office. Just to close the circle a junior civil servant has now been nicked for passing the memo’s – which weren’t covered under the official secrets incidentally - to the opposition official. Expect a suicide note and a corpse a la` Dr David Kelly any day now….oh and a request from Robert Mugabe for a masterclass from our glorious leaders in how to run a police state dictatorship.

The spineless, amoral, wankers that run Haringey Council, particularly their child care department, have ‘resigned’ and been ‘sacked’. The two who resigned – their names escape me, luckily for them – hung onto their jobs for as long as they possibly could with not a thought that a baby (well only one that we know of and of course poor Victoria Climbie a few years ago) died because of their incompetence. When the inquiry laid it squarely at their door they suddenly decided that the death of Baby P left their positions untenable and they couldn’t go on.

Fuck off you horrible, selfish, ignorant cunts – you displayed all the survival instincts of a corrupt politician in hanging on for dear life before finally being pushed by Ed Balls in order to deflect any criticism from him – I hope you never work again you incompetent twats.

Oh and the one who got ‘sacked’ was the one that went on the telly looking serious and saying that ‘people have had written warnings’ so it was all right – bucket faced cow! She hasn’t even been sacked – she’s suspended on full pay before she gets her massive fucking payoff – I’m sure the council tax payers of Haringey are well pleased about that.

Finally...I’m going to Hong Kong on Friday – Woohooo - so while you're all trudging round the shops in the snow arguing with your other halves I'll be lying by my rooftop pool, drinking Mai Tai's and eating Dim Sum, it's a hard life.

See ya.