Wednesday, 30 May 2007
I hope that you will continue to log on and check out whatever's new and that you don't get too frustrated when your comments aren't displayed as quickly as they are now. Anyway, fingers crossed that I don't get the sack from my new job before I've paid the mortgage off and I'll see you later.
Tuesday, 29 May 2007
I've received a request to cast my 'expert' eye over the first draft of a debut novel from an aspiring and talented author I know. The novel in question, 'On the March' is a fictional account of the experiences of four young lads when they join the army in the early nineties and is chock full of references to the culture of the time - Stone Roses, Happy Mondays, Ecstasy etc.
Personally, If I was in possession of my own publishing company or literary agency then I would take a good look at this and market it along the lines of 'This is why Prince Harry goes off the rails sometimes' just as the furore over his non active military career reaches it's peak in the tabloids - mind you I'm biased!
If anyone in the trade does want to contact the author though then let me know.
Ps - On the march is a term used by us northern types to describe the custom of necking cans of lager en-route to the bus stop for a night out, thus maximising drinking time - Young Harry may well substitute the lager for Cristal champagne and the bus for a chauffeur driven limo but I bet he still does it!
Friday, 25 May 2007
The fat pikey's had enough of our cash - let's not give him any more eh?
Thursday, 24 May 2007
Feel free to go there and see my name on the front page - if you'd like to comment on it (positively of course) then all the better.
Wednesday, 23 May 2007
Newcastle get £133m buyout offer
Billionaire businessman Mike Ashley has launched a £133.1m ($263m) offer for Newcastle United football club. The offer came after the retail entrepreneur said he had bought a 41.6% stake in the Premiership team from Sir John Hall's family for more than £55m. Mr Ashley said his firm St James Holdings Limited (SJHL) had bought 55.3 million shares in the club at 100 pence a share. He added that his offer priced the rest of the club's shares at the same level. Earlier this year Mr Ashley earned himself more than £900m after the flotation of his Sports Direct retail chain which he set up in 1982. The group runs the Sports World retail chain and Lillywhites, and its brands include Dunlop, Kangol and Karrimor. SJHL added that the offer price represented a 19% premium on the 84p closing price of Newcastle's shares on Tuesday 22 May.
This means that Shepherd will either sell up or dig his heels in. If he decides to stay then he may find that Mr. Ashley objects to his pathetic attempts at leadership and removes him from the chairmans office.
Either way the countdown has started - obviously aided by my series of hard hitting articles! ... TAXI FOR SHEPHERD!
Those fans who have had a little wager on Sam Allardyce being the next manager of Newcastle United know what they have to do today - tear up their betting slip.
The bookies make Big Sam third favourite behind Martin O’Neill and Roberto Mancini, but there is no way the United supporters will want to see their team playing the way Bolton play - even if it’s another 50 years before they win a trophy.
In fact, it’s a good job Alan Green, the Radio Five man who called Bolton’s football ugly and fell out with Allardyce, wasn’t at St James’ Park on Saturday.
Ugly? That was almost playing Bolton a compliment. It was joyless, brutal stuff, especially compared with some of the one-touch football United played at times.
Souness came across to me just outside the United dressing room and started bleating about Bolton’s tactics.My immediate reaction was to think “well, you are paid £2m a year to come up with ideas to combat whatever tactics opposing managers may throw at you”.
The Bolton brand of football has been perceived as functional, physical, long-ball and unattractive.Allardyce’s response to those jibes was always the same -If Chelsea played that way, it was fashionable. If Bolton followed a similar path, it was grubby.
Tuesday, 22 May 2007
They all boil my piss!
Monday, 21 May 2007
Sam Allardyce has been appointed manager at Newcastle United. There are a few people spouting the usual media led cliches about the long ball game etc. but make no mistake about it, thanks to Freddys 'inspired leadership' we are deep in the shite and as such he is the best manager we could have got. He will bring organisation, resolve and character to a dressing room that is as spineless as it is mercenary (Owen agititating for a move - twat!) and he'll introduce intelligent tactics designed to nullify and upset whoever we're playing against. The timing is correct for once as well, I suspect more by luck than design as our chairman isn't known for his forward planning.
I've been offered a new job starting straight after my current one becomes redundant so I've told our lass she doesn't have to start shopping at Netto's or Aldi's just yet!!
Scarecrow Magazine/Ezine have accepted 'Blagger' for publication - I'll post a link to them when it's on display.
The abuse Glenn Roeder suffered, both at the match and on various forums, before he went was not necessary. Glenn was one of us, he had the good grace to go without holding the club to ransom (unlike his predecessor - the scottish fraud), he saved this club from relegation when he took over from Grim Shitness and he was obviously denied transfer funds by the fat pikey when he needed them most. He goes with my good wishes for the future.
Charles N'Zogbia, Obafemi Martins - both refused to play for the club against Watford for various reasons. I don't care what those reasons were or how they seek to explain themselves, they (along with Dyer who has previous for this as well) can just f**k off now.
Mr. Shepherd has used the appointment of a new manager to hide the fact he is putting up season ticket prices - Using his favourite pet local reporter he managed to spin this as good news by saying that if you renewed your ticket in the next few weeks the price would be frozen but after that they would go up. Newcastle United have the most expensive ticket prices outside of London, a number of clubs that finished above Newcastle in the league actually REDUCED their prices, the television money received by clubs is about to increase massively to the point where they could give tickets away for free and still not lose money - yet ours are going up. I wonder what sort of dividends the major shareholders will be getting this year?
The Wallsend Ultras - now that's ugly!
Wednesday, 9 May 2007
I know my nonsense is now required reading for all you intelligent types (and the Wallsend Ultras) but I'm off to Greece tonight. As such this blog is now officially on holiday for a week or so, apologies to anyone who wishes to comment on my various rants/stories/shite but they won't show until I'm back to moderate them.
In the meantime, amuse yourselves by checking out some of my website links, buying stuff through my Amazon search box and clicking on some of the adverts to peruse their wares - who knows I might be able to afford the holiday if you do it enough!
Incidentally, I'm being made redundant from my job on my return so any employers who'd like a witty, urbane and damn handsome looking chap in their company feel free to let me know.
See you later.
Oh Yeah - SHEPHERD OUT!
Tuesday, 8 May 2007
On Saturday seven of them met at their pre-match pub for their usual round of Babychams and spritzers. Six of them were wearing the new, designed by a blind West Brom fan, home shirt. The only one not wearing the new shirt was roundly abused by the others but bravely stood his ground against a sea of razor sharp and incisive critcism - 'Hoo man whors ya short like ya tramp' etc. etc.
Two hours later, feeling a little tiddly after numerous Martinis, the Wallsend chaps joined the rest of the crowd in singing 'Shepherd Out' and 'Sack the Board' - oblivious to the fact that they had just prolonged his regime by GIVING HIM FORTY QUID EACH!!
PS - Special mention to Gook for being the only one of the seven with a brain and a special 'you need a punch in the face' award to Nick the Nashman, aka Turkey for queueing up from midnight to get the shirt!
Happy reading (and writing).
Friday, 4 May 2007
All parcels of shite!!
Thursday, 3 May 2007
Wednesday, 2 May 2007
- Kieron has been at Newcastle United for the best part of seven years and in that time the number of really good games he has had can be counted on the fingers of one hand.
- He is twenty eight and a half years old and we are still talking about 'potential'.
- He has been involved in numerous off the field incidents that involve alcohol, young women and tabloid front pages.
- In 2004 he refused to play on the right wing for Newcastle United as requested by his then manager Sir Bobby Robson (the next week he played on the left wing for England)
- In the same game when passed the captains armband by a withdrawn Alan Shearer he threw it on the floor
- He is reported to be on a weekly wage of between £50k and £80k
- He had an on field fight with team mate Lee Bowyer leading to them both being sent off.
In short he is the archetypal premiership footballer, average in talent but big on hype. He is very fast but then so was Road Runner. In a season when Newcastle have performed, in the main, spinelessly and without pride, our manager saw fit to make this waster captain of OUR team. He responded to this in the manner we all knew he would, he was anonymous apart from giving the ball away to the opposition for their winning goal.
Alan Oliver in the Newcastle Evening Chronicle (or the daily Shepherd as it is known amongst fans) states today that he thought the decision to make Dyer captain on motivation grounds was 'fair enough' and then opines that the player would not pass a medical in a big money move and so will remain a Newcastle player next season.
Right, so he's not fit enough to play for a big club but we'll keep giving him bucketloads of cash for the privilege of seeing him walk idly round the pitch in a black and white shirt next season?
The number of fans who have told me they have had enough of the way the club is run was worryingly high before Mondays capitulation but the mood worsened considerably when the team were led out by a bling merchant who isn't fit to wear an armband only recently vacated by Alan Shearer.
Does Roeder have the first idea of what he's caused by this action?
Kieron Dyer captain of Newcastle, Jesus can this season get any worse?
Stop the Spin - SHEPHERD OUT!