Fat Charva pikey neighbours who, after years of behaving like feral teenagers, suddenly decide that, with the onset of their second child to a different bloke, they'll 'nest' culminating in huge gaps in the hedge that protects you from seeing their fat, ugly, spotty, white bread, junk food ravaged faces because the thick cunt she's shacked up with now doesn't have English as his first language and doesn't understand 'stop cutting the roots away you prick'; E-on, the energy supplier, rude customer service and stupid bastards in charge - we're gone you fuckers; Students - wankers; People who moaned about Adam Ant when we went to see him in concert - you know who you are you un-rock n roll huckle; Chris Moyles - just hate the unfunny fat prick; AOL - not only barefaced robbing bastards who promise you one thing and then try to charge you for another before going very quiet when you catch them out they also palm you off with shit routers that only work intermittently before claiming it's your line that's to blame - well it worked fine before I switched routers you bunch of fucking dildo's; Mike Ashley, club raping, asset stripping, pie munching, cock sucking, fat cunt; The Daily Express or as it should be called now The Channel 5 programme guide; Derek Llambias, the 'comical Ali' of Ashley's cockney mafia - just go back to your jellied eels you shite spouting, lie telling, dishonest, history re-writing cunt, go on piss off; Politicians, scum; And Finally...drivers who don't indicate - why? I'm not a mind-reader and you've got your kids in that car. Is it so much effort to flick the stalk on the side of your wheel you incompetent cunt? Is stuffing crisps into your fat face more important than me knowing which exit you're coming off at the roundabout as I put my two tons of killing machine into gear and pull out in your path...tosser!
Right, feel better for that - go and watch the match now - no way I'll get narked with Pardew is charge is there......
Showing posts with label Politicians=Scum. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Politicians=Scum. Show all posts
Saturday, 24 September 2011
Tuesday, 20 September 2011
Murder? Bollocks man.
I've just read in the news that a bloke in Manchester has been arrested on suspicion of murder after stabbing an intruder in his home. On further reading I discovered that there were two men in the gentlemans house and that in the ensuing struggle one of them died after being stabbed with his OWN knife.
The police, as is their whole reason for getting up in the morning, nicked the householder as fast as they possibly could - doubtless knocking one out in the squad car on the way back at the thought of ticking two boxes on their target form for the month.
However, what concerns me most is this - if the householder stabbed the intruder with his own knife how can that possibly be construed as murder? I thought murder involved 'malice aforethought' and some form of general planning. Am I worng or did the householder really plan it all in advance? Did he break into the intruders house and plant the knife in his coat pocket next to his balaclava and knuckle duster? Did he send his wife and child to the shops at the exact time he knew they'd be coming in through the window? Did he sit by the door night after night, hoping against hope that someone would break in so he could 'murder' them just like he'd planned to all along.....or are the police in this country just making shit up now....answers on a postcard please to thiscountrysfucked@thankstonyblairyoucunt.com
The police, as is their whole reason for getting up in the morning, nicked the householder as fast as they possibly could - doubtless knocking one out in the squad car on the way back at the thought of ticking two boxes on their target form for the month.
However, what concerns me most is this - if the householder stabbed the intruder with his own knife how can that possibly be construed as murder? I thought murder involved 'malice aforethought' and some form of general planning. Am I worng or did the householder really plan it all in advance? Did he break into the intruders house and plant the knife in his coat pocket next to his balaclava and knuckle duster? Did he send his wife and child to the shops at the exact time he knew they'd be coming in through the window? Did he sit by the door night after night, hoping against hope that someone would break in so he could 'murder' them just like he'd planned to all along.....or are the police in this country just making shit up now....answers on a postcard please to thiscountrysfucked@thankstonyblairyoucunt.com
Sunday, 13 December 2009
Everything is Average Nowadays - Part 10
Chris Moyles - Unfunny fat prick who tried to 'wittily' mock Terry Wogan at a recent 'do' only to find that, as ever, when he hasn't got a script and a bunch of chortling sycophants his 'banter' is seen for the plain humourless rudeness that it really is...oh and Wogan wipes the floor with your listening figures you fucking obese knobjockey so fuck off; Boilers that cease to work properly in winter despite you only having them for five poxy years - moral of story, never, ever buy a Potterton boiler as they're shit and the company don't want to know; Spammers who try to flood your blog with adverts for Viagra, hoo man we're all proper blokes on here and we can all get hard ons without assistance, find a mackem site and they'll welcome you with open arms; Mike Ashley, club raping, asset stripping, pie munching, cock sucking, fat cunt; Sozzled charvas complete with requisite 'leisure wear' and gold sitting behind you at premier boxing events - wankers; People who mob supermarkets, walk slowly, stop without warning, hit you with their trolleys and try to buy everything they can see just cos it's Christmas - IT ONLY CLOSES FOR ONE FUCKING DAY YOU BUNCH OF SHEEP; Their fat, ungrateful offspring who whine on and on whilst blocking your way to the booze - just shut up and move out of my way you X Factor fodder; Students, no reason just fucking hate them; Derek Llambias, the 'comical Ali' of Ashley's cockney mafia - just go back to your jellied eels you shite spouting, lie telling, dishonest, history re-writing cunt, go on piss off; Politicians, absolute scum of the earth - no explanantion needed; And Finally...Jordan AKA Katie Price AKA spiritual leader of Britain's charva classes ...look love, you're not pretty, all that plastic isn't sexy and you come across like the most horrible woman in the world do yourself, and more importantly your kids (remember them eh?) a favour and put some clothes on, cease ya whining and stop behaving like an out of control slag... then give Kerry Katona a ring to arrange some etiquette lessons you monstrous fucking shrieking harridan!
Ah that's better, spleen vented and calm returning.
That's it from me for 2009 kids. I hope you all have a good Christmas and a prosperous 2010.
Cheers
Ah that's better, spleen vented and calm returning.
That's it from me for 2009 kids. I hope you all have a good Christmas and a prosperous 2010.
Cheers
Thursday, 15 October 2009
Joined up government?
Does anything actually work like it's supposed to in this country?
The Transport System. You can't drive anywhere without half the roads being closed or full of traffic cones that cause tailbacks and make you slow to a crawl so workers that aren't actually there are protected...and don't get me started on the fucking abortion that is the train service.
The child protection mob - whatever they're called. They aren't fit for purpose whichever way you look at it as every day brings another story of some poor little sod being abused in one way or another and another head of whichever department for pointless jobs hanging on for the payoff without even apologising.
The DSS. Apparently there's ELEVEN BILLION (that's eleven thousand million!) pounds spent every year from the public purse on disability benefits but the government are actually aware that 75% of them are faking it - that's about 8 Billion quid's worth! - they've just chosen to ignore it for the last decade...mind you there's an election coming up isn't there so doubtless they'll soon start talking a good game. Having said that, try paying many thousands of pounds into the system over the years through a series of well paid jobs and then get some back when you're made redundant through no fault of your own - persona non grata then ... bitter? Moi?
Democracy. In every other country it works like this :- you vote for who you want in charge and whoever gets the most votes then gets to rip off the most money until the next election. In this half arsed place we've went for the Zimbabwe option - no-one voted for the fucking gimp in charge (Brown or Mandelson, take your pick) but he's still taxing us to the hilt and giving what little spare we've got left to his euro mates.
The Armed Forces. Not a dig at them more the fucking donkeys who control them. If you take the decision to go to war and endanger the lives of thousand of brave men and women then you do it properly. You give them the best kit, the most firepower and excellent planning. Any of that happened for our boys and girls? Has it fuck. Do the politicians care? Do they fuck.
The Royal Mail. They can just fuck off the whingeing, soon to be closed down and out of a job because they're so greedy bunch of knobs.
Right, my spleen feels pretty much vented, I'm having a cup of tea.
Later.
The Transport System. You can't drive anywhere without half the roads being closed or full of traffic cones that cause tailbacks and make you slow to a crawl so workers that aren't actually there are protected...and don't get me started on the fucking abortion that is the train service.
The child protection mob - whatever they're called. They aren't fit for purpose whichever way you look at it as every day brings another story of some poor little sod being abused in one way or another and another head of whichever department for pointless jobs hanging on for the payoff without even apologising.
The DSS. Apparently there's ELEVEN BILLION (that's eleven thousand million!) pounds spent every year from the public purse on disability benefits but the government are actually aware that 75% of them are faking it - that's about 8 Billion quid's worth! - they've just chosen to ignore it for the last decade...mind you there's an election coming up isn't there so doubtless they'll soon start talking a good game. Having said that, try paying many thousands of pounds into the system over the years through a series of well paid jobs and then get some back when you're made redundant through no fault of your own - persona non grata then ... bitter? Moi?
Democracy. In every other country it works like this :- you vote for who you want in charge and whoever gets the most votes then gets to rip off the most money until the next election. In this half arsed place we've went for the Zimbabwe option - no-one voted for the fucking gimp in charge (Brown or Mandelson, take your pick) but he's still taxing us to the hilt and giving what little spare we've got left to his euro mates.
The Armed Forces. Not a dig at them more the fucking donkeys who control them. If you take the decision to go to war and endanger the lives of thousand of brave men and women then you do it properly. You give them the best kit, the most firepower and excellent planning. Any of that happened for our boys and girls? Has it fuck. Do the politicians care? Do they fuck.
The Royal Mail. They can just fuck off the whingeing, soon to be closed down and out of a job because they're so greedy bunch of knobs.
Right, my spleen feels pretty much vented, I'm having a cup of tea.
Later.
Sunday, 13 September 2009
Life On Mars?
My Name is Fast Hands. I've been on holiday. When I came back I was in 1947 and Dame Vera Lynn was No.1. Am I in a coma or just going mad? Now I know I have to get back to 2009 with it's ineffectual police, amoral politicians and Chris fucking Moyles.
Actually, bollocks to that, think I'll stay here. Altogether now:-
We'll meet again...
Actually, bollocks to that, think I'll stay here. Altogether now:-
We'll meet again...
Friday, 28 August 2009
Everything is Average Nowadays - Part 10
Whichever senior politician made the scottish bloke release the Lockerbie bomber in exchange for an oil deal further down line - amoral scum; The yanks who are getting all twisty faced about it when they funded various terror groups for years causing the deaths of hundreds of innocents - not such a fucking laugh now boys is it; Mike Ashley - no explanation needed but I hope he manages to impale himself on something rusty sometime soon; Being fucked about by firms who virtually promise you jobs then, after you've had two interviews and they've creamed themselves over you, bring someone else in at the death and tell you to fuck off - cunts; Students; Unbelievably thick plebs in little Oxfordshire towns who'll find out where you're from and proceed to aggressively slag off the North in the name of humour before proudly telling you they support Man Utd and then can't understand it when you piss yourself laughing at them; People who haven't yet bought a copy of the finest football book ever written, 'I'm Rivelino' HINT HINT; Chris Moyles (bet you thought I'd forgot!); Neighbours that have got apple trees that fire their fruit all over your new patio; People who loudly proclaim that they only drink one brand of lager and all the rest is just piss - fuck off they're all basically the same you pretentious twat; My coffee table - I've just walked into it and I think I've broken my leg.....
Fuckin hell...
Fuckin hell...
Tuesday, 19 May 2009
Guy Fawkes was right, politicians are shite.
So they’ve finally been caught with their greedy, grasping fingers in the till eh? Brilliant.
Predictably; ‘It’s only a minority’, ‘it’s all within the rules and therefore it’s the rules that are to blame not us’, ’it’s all the papers’ fault for reporting it, not ours for stealing the cash in the first place’ and my own personal favourite, ‘it’s okay, I’m paying back the money I stole so you can all move on – nothing to see here officer.’
Imagine this scenario:-
You come home and find a burglar in your house so you take a lump of wood to his head and call the bizzies. When they turn up two weeks later, (having been unavoidably detained at a focus group seminar on the rights of one legged, eastern european, dwarf, single mother lesbians with learning difficulties) and try to nick you for defending yourself, the burglar then pipes up…
‘Actually officer, I wasn’t nicking anything anyway cos I’m going to repay all the cash I took, so technically no crime was committed and therefore this man has just assaulted me for no reason….’
Sounds daft but that’s the precedent that’s being set by the wankers that ‘run’ this country (and haven’t they made a good job of it…) – as far as I’m aware you can’t have different sets of rules in law. So if these horrible arseholes get away with stealing our taxes – at a time when the country’s nearly bankrupt anyway – then theoretically it’s open season and no-one will go to jail ever again.
What do you mean no-one does anyway? God you’re so cynical…..
Predictably; ‘It’s only a minority’, ‘it’s all within the rules and therefore it’s the rules that are to blame not us’, ’it’s all the papers’ fault for reporting it, not ours for stealing the cash in the first place’ and my own personal favourite, ‘it’s okay, I’m paying back the money I stole so you can all move on – nothing to see here officer.’
Imagine this scenario:-
You come home and find a burglar in your house so you take a lump of wood to his head and call the bizzies. When they turn up two weeks later, (having been unavoidably detained at a focus group seminar on the rights of one legged, eastern european, dwarf, single mother lesbians with learning difficulties) and try to nick you for defending yourself, the burglar then pipes up…
‘Actually officer, I wasn’t nicking anything anyway cos I’m going to repay all the cash I took, so technically no crime was committed and therefore this man has just assaulted me for no reason….’
Sounds daft but that’s the precedent that’s being set by the wankers that ‘run’ this country (and haven’t they made a good job of it…) – as far as I’m aware you can’t have different sets of rules in law. So if these horrible arseholes get away with stealing our taxes – at a time when the country’s nearly bankrupt anyway – then theoretically it’s open season and no-one will go to jail ever again.
What do you mean no-one does anyway? God you’re so cynical…..
Thursday, 7 May 2009
Harriet...fuck off Man.
Alreet,
Been a bit of while hasn’t it – sorry about that but they’ve decided at work that they’d like me to actually earn the pittance they give me every month so I’ve been driving a lorry up and down the A5 a lot recently.
Anyway, nowt’s changed really. My blockbusting, warts and all, tongue in cheek, look at the life of a football supporter ‘I’m Rivelino – A Life Of Two Halves’ is still coming out in August and if you’re good I’ll give you a mention when I’m on Jonathan Ross.
I went to see ‘The Specials’ in Birmingham a few weeks back and had a great time, ending up in Wolverhampton at my favourite club in all the world. The next day was a tad challenging though. Remember on the news a while back about a bloke who was handcuffed to a car steering wheel and the car was filled with gas bottles? Well the car was on the track south of Birmingham New Street train station and I was in there…trying to get my train home…which is south of the station….Bugger!
I’ve noticed also that Labour minister Harriet Harman is pushing a bill through Parliament that will make it legal to discriminate against white men! That’s the Labour party that was formed purely to protect the working classes, which at the time of it’s inception, was mainly white men – still they’ve had our money now though haven’t they.
I think someone ought to point out to her that the last fucker to try this shite was a shortarse Austrian who thought he could get away with demonising a certain section of the community back in the 1930’s …and look what happened to him…..
Politicians – all scum.
Later
Been a bit of while hasn’t it – sorry about that but they’ve decided at work that they’d like me to actually earn the pittance they give me every month so I’ve been driving a lorry up and down the A5 a lot recently.
Anyway, nowt’s changed really. My blockbusting, warts and all, tongue in cheek, look at the life of a football supporter ‘I’m Rivelino – A Life Of Two Halves’ is still coming out in August and if you’re good I’ll give you a mention when I’m on Jonathan Ross.
I went to see ‘The Specials’ in Birmingham a few weeks back and had a great time, ending up in Wolverhampton at my favourite club in all the world. The next day was a tad challenging though. Remember on the news a while back about a bloke who was handcuffed to a car steering wheel and the car was filled with gas bottles? Well the car was on the track south of Birmingham New Street train station and I was in there…trying to get my train home…which is south of the station….Bugger!
I’ve noticed also that Labour minister Harriet Harman is pushing a bill through Parliament that will make it legal to discriminate against white men! That’s the Labour party that was formed purely to protect the working classes, which at the time of it’s inception, was mainly white men – still they’ve had our money now though haven’t they.
I think someone ought to point out to her that the last fucker to try this shite was a shortarse Austrian who thought he could get away with demonising a certain section of the community back in the 1930’s …and look what happened to him…..
Politicians – all scum.
Later
Wednesday, 11 March 2009
Everything is Average Nowadays - Part 9
Politicians who are getting all hysterical about Fred Goodwin’s gold plated pension deal and are demanding that he ‘does the right thing’ – don’t make me laugh you amoral, corrupt, grasping cunts, the hypocrisy emanating from you self righteous fuckers is sickening; Mike Ashley – we’re going down, you caused it, don’t try to convince us otherwise you nepotistic fat wanker; Chris Moyles – no particular reason this time I just fucking hate him; Cats that drag dead birds into your garden and leave them there – hope the fox gets you and does the same you little twats; Regional news that isn’t actually about your region – what’s that all about; Dennis Wise – Mike Ashleys gay lover; Agent Million from the Premium Bonds – he appears to have lost my address; People on Facebook who earnestly join every ‘cause’ going and feel the need to send these ‘causes’ on to me – fuck off, I don’t care; Whoever decided the Euro should be worth the same as the pound thus fucking up my little trip to Berlin; Joe Kinnear – Mike Ashleys dad; Whoever ‘slimed’ Peter Mandelson – she should have fucking punched him, missed opportunity there methinks; Derek Llambias – Mike Ashley’s bookie; All the left wing worthy’s who are jumping on the ‘Slumdog Millionaire is just poverty porn and it’s wrong’ bandwagon – fuck off it’s a good film and you’re just trying to be alternative, you sad, polo neck jumper wearing, ex-student, fuckwits; Whoever invented gardening – tosspot.
Aah – that’s better. Carry on.
Aah – that’s better. Carry on.
Thursday, 5 February 2009
Big Bad Wolves...
I’m all excited this week.
‘Why’s that,’ I hear you ask, ‘surely a grizzled old cynic such as yourself doesn’t get excited about anything Mr. Fasthands?’
I’ll tell you why – it’s the first big boys beano of the year on Saturday, the lads are travelling from Scotland, the Toon and Oxfordshire and we’re hitting Wolverhampton HARD - I cannit wait!
Obviously there’s also been a couple of things that have got my goat lately:-
Mike Ashley – Fat Liar
Dennis Wise – Insidious, Machiavellian dwarf with ‘little man’ complex
Derek Llambias – Arthur Daley’s smugger and stupider brother
Corrupt politicians in the House of Lords – Surprised? Not really.
The whole South of England coming to a standstill because it snowed – puffs.
Redundancies at work and the backbiting, moaning and bitching that has accompanied it – bunch of arse like.
Peter Mandelson – I’m alright Jack.
Anyway, bollocks to all that, I’m in too much of a good mood to let all of those plums spoilt it.
Have a good one kids – I know I will!
‘Why’s that,’ I hear you ask, ‘surely a grizzled old cynic such as yourself doesn’t get excited about anything Mr. Fasthands?’
I’ll tell you why – it’s the first big boys beano of the year on Saturday, the lads are travelling from Scotland, the Toon and Oxfordshire and we’re hitting Wolverhampton HARD - I cannit wait!
Obviously there’s also been a couple of things that have got my goat lately:-
Mike Ashley – Fat Liar
Dennis Wise – Insidious, Machiavellian dwarf with ‘little man’ complex
Derek Llambias – Arthur Daley’s smugger and stupider brother
Corrupt politicians in the House of Lords – Surprised? Not really.
The whole South of England coming to a standstill because it snowed – puffs.
Redundancies at work and the backbiting, moaning and bitching that has accompanied it – bunch of arse like.
Peter Mandelson – I’m alright Jack.
Anyway, bollocks to all that, I’m in too much of a good mood to let all of those plums spoilt it.
Have a good one kids – I know I will!
Wednesday, 3 December 2008
Dim Scum
There’s a lot happened this week.
For instance a member of the opposition party in a country where the man in charge wasn’t elected by the population is arrested for bringing to light the failings of the home office (that’s our country I’m talking about by the way!). Interestingly the force that carried out the arrest is run by a man vying for the top police job in the country - who gets that job will be decided by the home secretary – the unelected Prime Minister’s mate and the person most under fire for the failings of the Home Office. Just to close the circle a junior civil servant has now been nicked for passing the memo’s – which weren’t covered under the official secrets incidentally - to the opposition official. Expect a suicide note and a corpse a la` Dr David Kelly any day now….oh and a request from Robert Mugabe for a masterclass from our glorious leaders in how to run a police state dictatorship.
The spineless, amoral, wankers that run Haringey Council, particularly their child care department, have ‘resigned’ and been ‘sacked’. The two who resigned – their names escape me, luckily for them – hung onto their jobs for as long as they possibly could with not a thought that a baby (well only one that we know of and of course poor Victoria Climbie a few years ago) died because of their incompetence. When the inquiry laid it squarely at their door they suddenly decided that the death of Baby P left their positions untenable and they couldn’t go on.
Fuck off you horrible, selfish, ignorant cunts – you displayed all the survival instincts of a corrupt politician in hanging on for dear life before finally being pushed by Ed Balls in order to deflect any criticism from him – I hope you never work again you incompetent twats.
Oh and the one who got ‘sacked’ was the one that went on the telly looking serious and saying that ‘people have had written warnings’ so it was all right – bucket faced cow! She hasn’t even been sacked – she’s suspended on full pay before she gets her massive fucking payoff – I’m sure the council tax payers of Haringey are well pleased about that.
Finally...I’m going to Hong Kong on Friday – Woohooo - so while you're all trudging round the shops in the snow arguing with your other halves I'll be lying by my rooftop pool, drinking Mai Tai's and eating Dim Sum, it's a hard life.
See ya.
For instance a member of the opposition party in a country where the man in charge wasn’t elected by the population is arrested for bringing to light the failings of the home office (that’s our country I’m talking about by the way!). Interestingly the force that carried out the arrest is run by a man vying for the top police job in the country - who gets that job will be decided by the home secretary – the unelected Prime Minister’s mate and the person most under fire for the failings of the Home Office. Just to close the circle a junior civil servant has now been nicked for passing the memo’s – which weren’t covered under the official secrets incidentally - to the opposition official. Expect a suicide note and a corpse a la` Dr David Kelly any day now….oh and a request from Robert Mugabe for a masterclass from our glorious leaders in how to run a police state dictatorship.
The spineless, amoral, wankers that run Haringey Council, particularly their child care department, have ‘resigned’ and been ‘sacked’. The two who resigned – their names escape me, luckily for them – hung onto their jobs for as long as they possibly could with not a thought that a baby (well only one that we know of and of course poor Victoria Climbie a few years ago) died because of their incompetence. When the inquiry laid it squarely at their door they suddenly decided that the death of Baby P left their positions untenable and they couldn’t go on.
Fuck off you horrible, selfish, ignorant cunts – you displayed all the survival instincts of a corrupt politician in hanging on for dear life before finally being pushed by Ed Balls in order to deflect any criticism from him – I hope you never work again you incompetent twats.
Oh and the one who got ‘sacked’ was the one that went on the telly looking serious and saying that ‘people have had written warnings’ so it was all right – bucket faced cow! She hasn’t even been sacked – she’s suspended on full pay before she gets her massive fucking payoff – I’m sure the council tax payers of Haringey are well pleased about that.
Finally...I’m going to Hong Kong on Friday – Woohooo - so while you're all trudging round the shops in the snow arguing with your other halves I'll be lying by my rooftop pool, drinking Mai Tai's and eating Dim Sum, it's a hard life.
See ya.
Wednesday, 27 August 2008
Taxing questions...
How was your bank holiday then? I hurt my back at the weekend (it hurts loads but I’m from Byker and therefore hard as nails so I don’t say nowt…) but unfortunately due to various staffing issues I’ve had to come to work this week rather than resting it so I’m in a right mood…
With that in mind I’m going to keep this brief (gotta do me stretches like don’t ask…) and ask just one question.
As Labour ministers are calling for a ‘windfall tax’ on the energy firms, the rationale being that they’re making a fortune through increased prices, in order to spend the said tax on ‘helping those in fuel poverty’.
Will they also be calling for the same tax on the government who are making an absolute fortune through fuel tax (the highest in Europe I believe – do we get any benefit from being in the EU?) in order to assist those who are struggling with big price rises on everything caused by the price of petrol and diesel?
Or, as I suspect will happen, will they keep quiet about that and just put their expenses claims in as normal and live the good life whilst we all struggle to heat our homes, drive our cars and put food on the table?
Don’t even know why I’m asking actually – they’re all a bunch of self serving, greedy, hypocritical fuckers with more in common with the grasping, everyone else will pay for me, chav class than they care to realise.
Bunch of arse all of ‘em.
With that in mind I’m going to keep this brief (gotta do me stretches like don’t ask…) and ask just one question.
As Labour ministers are calling for a ‘windfall tax’ on the energy firms, the rationale being that they’re making a fortune through increased prices, in order to spend the said tax on ‘helping those in fuel poverty’.
Will they also be calling for the same tax on the government who are making an absolute fortune through fuel tax (the highest in Europe I believe – do we get any benefit from being in the EU?) in order to assist those who are struggling with big price rises on everything caused by the price of petrol and diesel?
Or, as I suspect will happen, will they keep quiet about that and just put their expenses claims in as normal and live the good life whilst we all struggle to heat our homes, drive our cars and put food on the table?
Don’t even know why I’m asking actually – they’re all a bunch of self serving, greedy, hypocritical fuckers with more in common with the grasping, everyone else will pay for me, chav class than they care to realise.
Bunch of arse all of ‘em.
Thursday, 26 June 2008
Separated at Birth?? Part 2
Following on from my successful comparison of Tony Blair and Graeme Souness (aye it was a while back I know) I'd like to present you with more compelling evidence that two well known dipshits are in fact one and the same person.
Ladies and Gentlemen I give you Gordon Brown and Robert Mugabe!
Ridiculous? Let’s look at the facts shall we….
• Both have ruined the economy of their various countries
• Both have seen prices spiral out of control to the point where ordinary people are struggling badly
• Both are out of touch with the wishes of their citizens
• Both preside over governments that are rumoured to be rife with corruption.
• Both employ ministers that make sure they’re alright while everyone else suffers in a country racked by crime and violence
• Neither of them have been elected to their position
I rest my case…
ps - While you're following government advice not to have a payrise over two percent even though prices are going through the roof for everything and people will almost certainly freeze/starve to death this winter, they're happily awarding themselves another forty grand a year. Nice work if you can get it eh?
They're all scum.
Ladies and Gentlemen I give you Gordon Brown and Robert Mugabe!
Ridiculous? Let’s look at the facts shall we….
• Both have ruined the economy of their various countries
• Both have seen prices spiral out of control to the point where ordinary people are struggling badly
• Both are out of touch with the wishes of their citizens
• Both preside over governments that are rumoured to be rife with corruption.
• Both employ ministers that make sure they’re alright while everyone else suffers in a country racked by crime and violence
• Neither of them have been elected to their position
I rest my case…
ps - While you're following government advice not to have a payrise over two percent even though prices are going through the roof for everything and people will almost certainly freeze/starve to death this winter, they're happily awarding themselves another forty grand a year. Nice work if you can get it eh?
They're all scum.
Friday, 20 June 2008
No, no, no, no, no, no ,no Yes…
I never tire of slagging off politicians – which is lucky because they’re always doing things I don’t like!
For instance, this week the Irish people voted against the EU treaty (you know the one that our unelected prime minister was meant to give us a referendum on as it was in his party’s manifesto during the last election) and that should have been that.
The rules of that particular piece of european nonsense state that if the treaty is not ratified by every member state then it is unworkable and, to all intents and purposes, dead.
So did our euro masters take their snouts from the trough long enough to follow their own rules and leave us with a little bit of self governance?
Did they fuck – the Irish premier has been told to go away and turn the no into a yes so they can all continue on the gravy train and we can have a european army as well as a european president running our country. Expect the Irish to be having another referendum sometime soon after they’ve been offered a load of incentives to say yes.
Have any of the euro states spoken up in favour of the Irish? Well the Czech’s did (and fair play to them) but our own PM – the unelected, out of touch and deeply unlikeable Gordon Brown, had his tongue up the arse of the French and Germans quicker than you can say ‘I think I’ll put taxes up on petrol’.
Politicians - they’re all scum.
Have a good weekend.
Ps – Tom Harris – Transport Minister and Labour MP for Glasgow South …thinks we’re all whining and we’ve never had it so good – I’m guessing he gets his petrol on ‘expenses’. Make sure you bear it in mind come election time.
PPs – The small ‘e’ in european was deliberate – I’m good at spelling me – I don’t officially recognise them as having owt to do with me so fuck them.
PPPs – you can’t beat a small ‘e’...!!
For instance, this week the Irish people voted against the EU treaty (you know the one that our unelected prime minister was meant to give us a referendum on as it was in his party’s manifesto during the last election) and that should have been that.
The rules of that particular piece of european nonsense state that if the treaty is not ratified by every member state then it is unworkable and, to all intents and purposes, dead.
So did our euro masters take their snouts from the trough long enough to follow their own rules and leave us with a little bit of self governance?
Did they fuck – the Irish premier has been told to go away and turn the no into a yes so they can all continue on the gravy train and we can have a european army as well as a european president running our country. Expect the Irish to be having another referendum sometime soon after they’ve been offered a load of incentives to say yes.
Have any of the euro states spoken up in favour of the Irish? Well the Czech’s did (and fair play to them) but our own PM – the unelected, out of touch and deeply unlikeable Gordon Brown, had his tongue up the arse of the French and Germans quicker than you can say ‘I think I’ll put taxes up on petrol’.
Politicians - they’re all scum.
Have a good weekend.
Ps – Tom Harris – Transport Minister and Labour MP for Glasgow South …thinks we’re all whining and we’ve never had it so good – I’m guessing he gets his petrol on ‘expenses’. Make sure you bear it in mind come election time.
PPs – The small ‘e’ in european was deliberate – I’m good at spelling me – I don’t officially recognise them as having owt to do with me so fuck them.
PPPs – you can’t beat a small ‘e’...!!
Wednesday, 4 June 2008
Busy, Busy, Busy
I know, I know, It’s been a while and I’m sorry. Loads of stuff has been going on and frankly I’m knackered.
Anyway there’s been far too much news for me to comment on, suffice to say that politicians resisting all attempts to have some form of transparency where their expenses are concerned would suggest someone was up to something somewhere.
Obviously that’s just my opinion and there’s no evidence that anyone is breaking the law but a system whereby no-one has to produce any receipts and everything is funded by the taxpayer leads me to only one conclusion :- they’re all a bunch of self serving, grasping cunts and we’d be better off without them.
Right then, writing stuff.
Well as I said about a week ago ‘I’m Rivelino’ is finished and is with my readers. Random House haven’t, as yet, beaten down my door waving a big fat cheque but I’m ever hopeful. I have however spoken to a regional publisher who is very interested in the life story of fat geordie with a devastating line in chat though – he just needs to run it by his business partner so fingers crossed.
I’ll let you know first – watch this space.
Further to that I was recently approached by a brand new independent publisher with a view to publishing one of my short pieces on their brand new website. The publisher is ‘Byker Books’ and the page on their site is called ‘Radgepacket’ it’s designed to promote up and coming authors and as far as I’m concerned all publicity is good so I agreed to let them use ‘Blagger’.
Here’s the link – see what you think of them and let me know.
Byker Books
Anyway, that’s it for now but I’ll leave with you with a little question. I’ve got a cold and apparently that means I’ve got ‘Man Flu’ so does that mean when lasses get a sniffle they’ve got Bird Flu?
And does that mean we can cull them?
Anyway there’s been far too much news for me to comment on, suffice to say that politicians resisting all attempts to have some form of transparency where their expenses are concerned would suggest someone was up to something somewhere.
Obviously that’s just my opinion and there’s no evidence that anyone is breaking the law but a system whereby no-one has to produce any receipts and everything is funded by the taxpayer leads me to only one conclusion :- they’re all a bunch of self serving, grasping cunts and we’d be better off without them.
Right then, writing stuff.
Well as I said about a week ago ‘I’m Rivelino’ is finished and is with my readers. Random House haven’t, as yet, beaten down my door waving a big fat cheque but I’m ever hopeful. I have however spoken to a regional publisher who is very interested in the life story of fat geordie with a devastating line in chat though – he just needs to run it by his business partner so fingers crossed.
I’ll let you know first – watch this space.
Further to that I was recently approached by a brand new independent publisher with a view to publishing one of my short pieces on their brand new website. The publisher is ‘Byker Books’ and the page on their site is called ‘Radgepacket’ it’s designed to promote up and coming authors and as far as I’m concerned all publicity is good so I agreed to let them use ‘Blagger’.
Here’s the link – see what you think of them and let me know.
Byker Books
Anyway, that’s it for now but I’ll leave with you with a little question. I’ve got a cold and apparently that means I’ve got ‘Man Flu’ so does that mean when lasses get a sniffle they’ve got Bird Flu?
And does that mean we can cull them?
Monday, 21 April 2008
Everything is Average nowadays - part 7
Local elections and lying cunts on my doorstep, bosses who are a complete fucking joke and appear to get off on having some sort of power over you, Ashley Cole (hate the cheating twat – have done ever since he went through a phase of going down holding his face to get people sent off), publishers who don’t get back to you when they say they will, Students, the British Media, Idiots who believe everything they read in the aforementioned British media, Jeremy Kyle – the worst kind of hypocrite, Kerry Katona – mouthy fat bint, Chris Moyles – no particular reason just that he’s a fat bully who died on his arse at the Brits when faced with a live crowd and none of his sycophants to back him up, Politicians – all fucking scum, HR people who cover for their mates and make everyone else’s lives miserable in the process, bad backs that stop you training, hangovers…in foreign cities…in the sunshine, Makems, Football columnists in newspapers that should know better than to slag off certain managers before they’ve even had a chance to sort out the shite they’ve inherited but then go really quiet and can’t bring themselves to admit they’re wrong when the manager in question wins four games out of five – wankers, did I mention politicians?
All shite - Fact.
All shite - Fact.
Monday, 7 April 2008
Apathetic democratic...
It’s all going to kick off in Zimbabwe any day now – you can just see it can’t you?
Mugabe has obviously been beaten in the election but is staying put anyway, and, as he controls most of the armed forces, I think there’ll be an awful lot of blood spilt before he leaves the presidents office.
Why am I bringing this up?
Well it struck me last night that, while the rest of the world wrings it’s hands about an unelected dictator wrecking the lives of the majority of his countrymen and looking after his sycophants financially, no-one in this country ever voted for Gordon Brown did they?
So whilst his mp’s award themselves big pay rises and use their unchallenged expenses claims (paid for by us, the taxpayers) to fund their tv licences and the like we can sit back safe in the knowledge that at least we don’t live in Zimbabwe.
It’s not like prices are going up every day and only a privileged few have much cash in their pockets is it…..shit!
Ps – Charlton Heston used to proudly stand at those Gun Control meetings in America and raise his rifle, proclaiming loudly that if they wanted to stop him owning a gun they’d have to ‘prise it from my cold dead hands’ – shouldn’t be too much of problem now should it.
Mugabe has obviously been beaten in the election but is staying put anyway, and, as he controls most of the armed forces, I think there’ll be an awful lot of blood spilt before he leaves the presidents office.
Why am I bringing this up?
Well it struck me last night that, while the rest of the world wrings it’s hands about an unelected dictator wrecking the lives of the majority of his countrymen and looking after his sycophants financially, no-one in this country ever voted for Gordon Brown did they?
So whilst his mp’s award themselves big pay rises and use their unchallenged expenses claims (paid for by us, the taxpayers) to fund their tv licences and the like we can sit back safe in the knowledge that at least we don’t live in Zimbabwe.
It’s not like prices are going up every day and only a privileged few have much cash in their pockets is it…..shit!
Ps – Charlton Heston used to proudly stand at those Gun Control meetings in America and raise his rifle, proclaiming loudly that if they wanted to stop him owning a gun they’d have to ‘prise it from my cold dead hands’ – shouldn’t be too much of problem now should it.
Tuesday, 25 March 2008
Hoo man am gasping...
Apparently some government minister (I don't know which one and don't really care - they're all inept, greedy, out of touch and fucking incompetent) has decreed that cigarettes should not be on display in shops and should be sold from 'under the counter' - brilliant!
Bearing in mind this is a legal product that the government makes an absolute fortune on in tax (with which to furnish asylum seekers with cars and houses) and it seems ludicrous that people who use it should be demonised in this way - I'm a non smoker incidentally so don't think I'm pursuing my own agenda here.
The thinking behind this attempt to make smokers carry a bell and shout 'unclean' as they walk down the road is that if they can't see the packets then they won't want to buy the cigs - are these fuckers for real?
If you've smoked for thirty years and have lungs resembling tar pits you're not going to be put off by asking for a packet of tabs in a brown paper bag are you?
'Can I have a copy of big tits monthly, some condoms, a tube of pile cream and a dildo - oh and (puts whispering voice on) twenty regal king size guvnor - they're for a mate.'
You couldn't make it up - I only wish I was.
Bearing in mind this is a legal product that the government makes an absolute fortune on in tax (with which to furnish asylum seekers with cars and houses) and it seems ludicrous that people who use it should be demonised in this way - I'm a non smoker incidentally so don't think I'm pursuing my own agenda here.
The thinking behind this attempt to make smokers carry a bell and shout 'unclean' as they walk down the road is that if they can't see the packets then they won't want to buy the cigs - are these fuckers for real?
If you've smoked for thirty years and have lungs resembling tar pits you're not going to be put off by asking for a packet of tabs in a brown paper bag are you?
'Can I have a copy of big tits monthly, some condoms, a tube of pile cream and a dildo - oh and (puts whispering voice on) twenty regal king size guvnor - they're for a mate.'
You couldn't make it up - I only wish I was.
Thursday, 13 March 2008
Money's too tight to mention...
I realise I’m preaching to the converted here but yesterdays budget has simply washed over me in a wave of apathy. The reasons for this are as follows:-
Our rancid hospitals routinely kill people through their superbug infections
The Police are nowhere to be seen anymore – well unless you haven’t paid your council tax or you’ve been speeding in your car then there’s a van load of them smashing down your door.
Our courts think of criminals as victims and uphold their ‘Human Rights’ whilst disregarding ours.
Our school system is collapsing as they become lawless, violent places which churn out ever thicker, more feckless youths.
Our road and rail networks are an absolute shambles and national embarrassment.
Our Armed forces have been short changed and betrayed by the idiots who are meant to be leading them
We give money, houses and cars to anybody who turns up and utters the magic word ‘asylum’ whilst our pensioners who lived through the post war hard times and helped build this country back up die through hypothermia and are imprisoned for being unable to afford their council tax.
We are the most taxed and spied upon nation in the world (my opinion anyway)
That’s just stuff off the top of my head, there’s probably things I could write about corrupt politicians, little hitlers in council offices, the scandal of the state of refuse collection, the way fuel is twenty five pence a litre more expensive now than it was a couple of years ago and …ooh loads more stuff.
The reason I’m not going to is that I really can’t be arsed – what’s the point when politicians themselves don’t give a monkeys and spend most of their time laughing at us – well when their snouts aren’t in the trough that is.
Yesterday during the budget speech David Cameron voiced the fact that the Labour part had imposed on the people of this country ‘the heaviest tax burden in our history’
Labour’s Childrens minister Ed Balls (an apt name for an utter cock) retorted with ‘So What?’ This was then disputed by the Labour party as their mighty spin machine swung into action but he was clearly heard by many.
Mind you, as he and his partner, Minister Yvette Cooper, take over £582,892 a year in taxpayers money through their combined salaries and ‘expenses’ I don’t suppose they do give a fuck.
I don’t suppose for one minute they have to decide whether to put an extra jumper on or turn up the heating.
I don’t suppose they wonder whether they can afford to fill the car up this week.
I don’t suppose they have to make the decision to shop at Aldi or Tescos
Come election time though I’m thinking we won’t have much of a decision to make either – although, given our rich history of revolution, insurrection and civil war it might not even get that far when the fuel goes up again.
Here’s hoping eh!
Our rancid hospitals routinely kill people through their superbug infections
The Police are nowhere to be seen anymore – well unless you haven’t paid your council tax or you’ve been speeding in your car then there’s a van load of them smashing down your door.
Our courts think of criminals as victims and uphold their ‘Human Rights’ whilst disregarding ours.
Our school system is collapsing as they become lawless, violent places which churn out ever thicker, more feckless youths.
Our road and rail networks are an absolute shambles and national embarrassment.
Our Armed forces have been short changed and betrayed by the idiots who are meant to be leading them
We give money, houses and cars to anybody who turns up and utters the magic word ‘asylum’ whilst our pensioners who lived through the post war hard times and helped build this country back up die through hypothermia and are imprisoned for being unable to afford their council tax.
We are the most taxed and spied upon nation in the world (my opinion anyway)
That’s just stuff off the top of my head, there’s probably things I could write about corrupt politicians, little hitlers in council offices, the scandal of the state of refuse collection, the way fuel is twenty five pence a litre more expensive now than it was a couple of years ago and …ooh loads more stuff.
The reason I’m not going to is that I really can’t be arsed – what’s the point when politicians themselves don’t give a monkeys and spend most of their time laughing at us – well when their snouts aren’t in the trough that is.
Yesterday during the budget speech David Cameron voiced the fact that the Labour part had imposed on the people of this country ‘the heaviest tax burden in our history’
Labour’s Childrens minister Ed Balls (an apt name for an utter cock) retorted with ‘So What?’ This was then disputed by the Labour party as their mighty spin machine swung into action but he was clearly heard by many.
Mind you, as he and his partner, Minister Yvette Cooper, take over £582,892 a year in taxpayers money through their combined salaries and ‘expenses’ I don’t suppose they do give a fuck.
I don’t suppose for one minute they have to decide whether to put an extra jumper on or turn up the heating.
I don’t suppose they wonder whether they can afford to fill the car up this week.
I don’t suppose they have to make the decision to shop at Aldi or Tescos
Come election time though I’m thinking we won’t have much of a decision to make either – although, given our rich history of revolution, insurrection and civil war it might not even get that far when the fuel goes up again.
Here’s hoping eh!
Thursday, 6 March 2008
Lions led by donkeys...
I hope you’ve all swotted up on your French and German boys and girls as it’s looking like English won’t be required for much longer.
Gurning Gordon yesterday carried through the task left to him by Tony Blair and sold us out to his mates in Brussels ably assisted by the ‘leader’ of the Lib-Dems (incidentally there’ll be a highly paid, full time euro president when the new treaty is officially ratified. Guess who that’ll be? Yup, step forward Tony – penny dropping yet?)
I expect shoddy behaviour from the man in charge of a joke party like the Lib-Dems but I’m also old enough to remember when The Labour party were interested in advancing the cause of the working classes rather than feathering their own nests. I’ve never liked the Tories (mainly because I grew up in the North that Thatcher tried to kill and will therefore be drinking heavily when she dies!) but there’s no way I can consider voting for a party that consistently lies, cheats and is only interested in taking as much money as possible off me in stealth taxes.
Ministers fiddle their expenses and live in luxury while we all struggle to pay rising power, water and fuel bills before being carted off to filthy hospitals and abusive nursing homes to see out our days – what exactly happens to all that money we pay into National Insurance over our lifetimes?
What are we actually paying them foranyway? All the laws are made in Brussels now and we’re not allowed to do anything unless they give us the nod – what do they actually do in the Commons?
Anyway, I’m off to buy my French Golden Delicious by the Kilo (you go to jail if you use pounds and ounces remember) before taking out a mortgage for a litre (not a gallon) of petrol.
Vive la Revolution.
Gurning Gordon yesterday carried through the task left to him by Tony Blair and sold us out to his mates in Brussels ably assisted by the ‘leader’ of the Lib-Dems (incidentally there’ll be a highly paid, full time euro president when the new treaty is officially ratified. Guess who that’ll be? Yup, step forward Tony – penny dropping yet?)
I expect shoddy behaviour from the man in charge of a joke party like the Lib-Dems but I’m also old enough to remember when The Labour party were interested in advancing the cause of the working classes rather than feathering their own nests. I’ve never liked the Tories (mainly because I grew up in the North that Thatcher tried to kill and will therefore be drinking heavily when she dies!) but there’s no way I can consider voting for a party that consistently lies, cheats and is only interested in taking as much money as possible off me in stealth taxes.
Ministers fiddle their expenses and live in luxury while we all struggle to pay rising power, water and fuel bills before being carted off to filthy hospitals and abusive nursing homes to see out our days – what exactly happens to all that money we pay into National Insurance over our lifetimes?
What are we actually paying them foranyway? All the laws are made in Brussels now and we’re not allowed to do anything unless they give us the nod – what do they actually do in the Commons?
Anyway, I’m off to buy my French Golden Delicious by the Kilo (you go to jail if you use pounds and ounces remember) before taking out a mortgage for a litre (not a gallon) of petrol.
Vive la Revolution.
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