You fat cockney bastard, get out of our club....

Some things are beyond profit and personal gain.
Always and forever.....

Tapped!

You're not going to believe this like but I was robbing cleaning this place in Wapping last night when I found this tape lying about with a label on saying 'Sleazeball and Greedy fat cocksucker 08/11/11' on it. So I played the tape and..well...maybe you should just read the transcript :-

- Mike, Degsy here me ol' china.
- Awright Degs, how's it in the frozen Norf my son. They still 'ate us do they?
-Nah Guv, that's why I'm ringin' innit. They're startin' to fink we're okay.
-Wot? Even though we treated Keegan and Shearer like absolute dogshit, relegated 'em, raped the club of it's best and most saleable assets and generally took the piss out of every single fackin one of 'em?
-Yeah guv, even though we did all that. It's 'cos the gimp has managed to do alright by beating teams like Wigan and Wolves and that. E' even used that phrase abaht 'marking their cards' and they fell for it. By the way you still has to knock a monkey off of his debt for saying that.
-No probs geezah, he'll still owe me enough to keep 'im up there for a long time yet. Tell 'im I'll knock anuvva pony off if he says it again in a weeks time cos I'm finkin' that if the fick Norvern Mankeys is ripe for it then it's time for Plan B my san.
-I was 'oping you'd say that Mike - I've got the statement here now. Listen to this bit 'In order to compete with the big clubs..'
- Pppppfffftttttt...they fink the money will go to the team ha ha ha ha fackin' Geordie mugs!
- I know boss, they've even forgot about the £35mill we squirrelled down our sky rockets. Norveners, thick as fack guvnor, thick as fack.
- Yeah fack it. Do the statement about re-naming the grand on Thursday - tell the gimp to keep his loaf of bread dahn for the time bein' - wot shall we call it then?
- 'Sports Direct Arena' guv, got to be innit? That'll fack them right off wunnit?
- Good call Degsy, good call. That's wot it'll be then. I'm sure they'll say something abaht 'istory and tradition and that but the fick Norven cants need to understand I'm dahn to me last Billion so there's no way I'm only takin' £40 million a year out of their poxy little clab when I can 'ave more.
- It's all abaht the cash boss, nuffink else matters in this life.
- Bang on Degsy, bang on me old son. I've 'ad anuvver idea an' all Degs.
-Wot's 'at gorgeous...I mean boss?
- I'm gunna shit on the staute of that Jocky Miliband they've got up there an' all.
- I fink it's Jackie Milburn my love...I mean guv.
- Wotevva, I'm gunna shit all over it. That'll fackin' learn 'em.
- Stone the crows guv, they'll go mental.
- Nah they won't cos we'll just say I was sponsored by Sports Direct and the money'll go straight to the team and we need it 'In order to compete with the big clubs..'
- Ha ha, you are one diamond geezah Mikey. Let's go and spend some of that £35 mill on hookers in Barbados while them Norven fuckwits bleat and argue amongst themsleves abaht the grand.
- Nice One Degsy - see you at 'Eathrow. Tell the gimp not to say anything while we're gone.
- Right you are Guv. Laters.

So there you go. I mean, obviously, I've got no idea who it is or what there on about - any of you got a clue?

I can see a liar....

Since knifing Chris Hughton in the back in order to take his job Alan Pardew has been vocal about everything concerned with Newcastle United. There are those who think he's a bare-faced liar who will say anything to get out of whatever question he's just been asked, those who think he's simply a foolish dupe who has been hired to be Ashley's scapegoat as he's thick as fuck and a tiny minority who think that he's a capable football manager and that spending most of his career in the lower divisions before being sacked by league two Southampton for being shit was ideal preparation for managing the third best supported club in England.

Well, you know me, I'm all about giving people a chance to dig their own graves - so let's examine some of the drivel he's spouted shall we :-

• David Beckham is a player who could wear a Newcastle shirt I think. (Jan 06/11)

Aye right.

• We have given the answer to anyone who has contacted us that he's not for sale - it's as simple as that, I can't say strongly enough that Andy Carroll will not leave in this window, 100 per cent. (Jan 06/11)

Pants on fire Alan you big fibber.

• 'Look, this money has to be reinvested in the team. All of it,'" Pardew said. "And he assured me of that. That is the most important message I can give Newcastle fans today. I talked to Mike 15 minutes ago to clarify that and he was pretty clear. The money will be Andy's legacy to the team. (Feb01/11)

Note the word 'TEAM' - not 'Club' or 'training ground' or 'wages for a free transfer who's shit anyway'

• "We want to secure Kevin - I certainly do," (May 23/11)
• My opinion is that we couldn't give Kevin a five-year contract because, if Kevin isn't playing first-team football, he isn't going to be the leader we want, I'm convinced of that (July 05/11)

Change of mind Al??

• there will be another striker coming in. We’re poised to do what we can and I still think we can bring in another two offensive players. (Jul 05/11)

This is after we signed Demba Ba Pardew fans - so yes he was talking shite.

There's fucking loads more but I really can't be arsed spending time on someone who thinks we're as thick as pigshit and believe everything he says - particularly his new 'oh poor me, it's not my fault' act.

so what's the verdict I hear you ask, well here's one more 'cos I think you already know what I think of Ashleys puppet...

• We need to bring players in Newcastle fans love that can get you out of your seat (May 23/11)

Possibly the only time he's told the truth - attendances are currently 10,000 down with more set to chuck it in after the lies about bringing a striker in - nice one Al, you really have got bums off seats you clueless cockney cunt!

Separated At Birth - Part 4

Mike Ashley / Freddy Shepherd

Honestly, they could be twins!: -

• They both made disastrous, ridiculous and, frankly, criminal managerial appointments in the likes of Joe 'Fuckin' Kinnear and Graeme 'I only like proper players me' Souness.

• They both surrounded themselves with absolute clowns who they paid from the supporters money - Douglas Hall, Derek Llambias, Dennis Wise, did I mention Graeme Souness?

• They both (to date) have left the club in a worse position in which they found it.

• I hate them both

• They both forced out Kevin Keegan because he knew more about the club and the city than they did and they were jealous.

• They're both obese.

• They both use(d) as much spin as possible to keep the fans onside without realising that everyone is a lot more media savvy these days and can see right through them.

• They both got caught out treating the fans like mugs - Shepherd via the News of The World (I haven't forgotten fatty!) and Ashley via Keegan's tribunal where he and his regime admitted lying to fans repeatedly.

• They’re both cunts.

Lest we forget...

You fat cockney bastard, get out of our club.

Mike 'The Proven Liar' Ashley has now declared he is going to take Newcastle Utd off the market as 'no-one has met the £80m asking price'. Call me pedantic BUT that's the same price Birmingham City went for in about two minutes, Everton are asking for £300m and even shitholes like Sunderland have changed hands for that sort of money recently. Now consider our position, we're top of a very average league with a squad made up of cast offs and youth team players, we're getting bigger crowds than Chelsea do in the champions league and Liverpool did against Man Utd and the fat liar reckons he can't sell the club for £80million! No-one believes you anymore Mike you dishonest, corrupt, obese parcel of shite. There was never any intention to sell the club just the usual stringing along of supporters to hide the lack of inward action for the third transfer window in a row.

As well as taking the club 'off the market' (like it was ever fucking on you fat wanker) he has appointed Chris Hughton as permanent manager - the same Chris Hughton who was in charge for a lot of our premiership demise last year and won one game, mind you he says 'yes' a lot and Mike the Liar likes that hence Joe Kinnear's employment.

Oh and apparently he's going to 'pump £20 million in this week' - pump it into what? We haven't made a net spend on any players for two years, in fact Mike the Liar has put a considerable few quid in his back pocket as a result of decimating our team and getting us relegated. We must be covering the wages as we're on telly every fucking week and are getting crowds in excess of most premiership clubs - so where's this £20 million being 'pumped' into then? Is it your tab at Greggs you fat cunt?

However, none of this is what's pissing me off today. No, it's the statement they sneaked in on the back end of the the announcements that has riled me beyond belief 'exploring maximum revenue streams including naming rights for the stadium'. Basically, he's going to change the name of St James Park for a few quid - we'll be called the Tesco Stadium or something because he's a childish, spiteful, evil, lying, prick.

One hundred and twenty years of tradition will be swept away in an instant at one of English footballs great clubs because a fat narcissist from Buckinghamshire is in a huff about being shown up to be a truly inept buffoon. Will the FA step in with their 'fit and proper persons test'? Will the national media do anything about it? Don't hold your breath.

Rumour has it that Ashley was close to attack when we lost at Scunthorpe the other night and stewards had to protect him. Well if he changes the name of our ground he might just have to get used to that.

Everything is Average Nowadays - Part 10

Whichever senior politician made the scottish bloke release the Lockerbie bomber in exchange for an oil deal further down line - amoral scum; The yanks who are getting all twisty faced about it when they funded various terror groups for years causing the deaths of hundreds of innocents - not such a fucking laugh now boys is it; Mike Ashley - no explanation needed but I hope he manages to impale himself on something rusty sometime soon; Being fucked about by firms who virtually promise you jobs then, after you've had two interviews and they've creamed themselves over you, bring someone else in at the death and tell you to fuck off - cunts; Students; Unbelievably thick plebs in little Oxfordshire towns who'll find out where you're from and proceed to aggressively slag off the North in the name of humour before proudly telling you they support Man Utd and then can't understand it when you piss yourself laughing at them; People who haven't yet bought a copy of the finest football book ever written, 'I'm Rivelino' HINT HINT; Chris Moyles (bet you thought I'd forgot!); Neighbours that have got apple trees that fire their fruit all over your new patio; People who loudly proclaim that they only drink one brand of lager and all the rest is just piss - fuck off they're all basically the same you pretentious twat; My coffee table - I've just walked into it and I think I've broken my leg.....

Fuckin hell...

All signed out...for now.

Alreet Kids,

Well Mike Ashley's still on a mission to destroy one of English Football's grandest old clubs criminally aided by the national media who would have started massive front page campaigns to hang him and llambias by now if we were a London club.

However...I can't be arsed to talk about that fat homosexual today (just my opinion like...) instead I've got some pics for you of my recent book signing sessions at Borders in Wallsend and Team Valley. Also a bit of news, I'll be doing another signing session of my book 'I'm Rivelino' or 'The Working Class Fever Pitch' as it's becoming known, at 'The Back Page' in Newcastle on Wednesday 19th August from 16:00 to about 17:30 before I head up to the BBC studios to appear on Radio Newcastle's new sports show with Steve Howey. After that I'll be gannin to the match against Sheff Wed and shouting abuse at a certain porcine buffoon with a penchant for fresh faced young cockneys.....well how else could you explain Dennis wise's employment, it's not like the fucker contributed to the football side of things was it?

Anyway, hope you like the pics - Later.

Oh...man....!

Well, that’s that then! Frankly, I’m glad this abortive season is all over and, even though we got relegated I’m just relieved it’s all finished.I’ve got to ask the question though – how on earth did Mike Ashley make all that money when he is blatantly as thick as fuck?

What kind of idiot backs Dennis Wise over Kevin Keegan IN NEWCASTLE?

What kind of stupid, fat, clueless cunt even contemplates Joe ‘me heart’s fucked and I haven’t been a manager since relegating Forest about ten years ago’ Kinnear as the manager of a team in freefall?

What kind of imbelic, brain dead, makem like, fucking pleb then doesn’t replace the aforementioned Mr. Kinnear and instead lets the team and club and city slide to it’s doom before bringing in someone professional once it’s too fucking late?

I’ll tell you what kind – the same kind of obese moron that then decides to sell the club and put it in managerless limbo just as everyone else is preparing for next season thus condemning us to another season of fucking about, playing catch up and getting nowhere.

Anyway, apparently the Sultan of Oman is sniffing around so let’s hope he comes up with the shekels sharpish and we can fuck the fat doylum off quickly and get back to being a football club again instead of a spoilt rich boy’s plaything.

Speaking of spoilt rich boys I was a bit surprised at the Villa fans being so jubilant at sending us down like – I realise that the media have managed to turn us into football lepers as far as the rest of the country is concerned but they were properly, eye bulgingly, face contortedly, screamingly, about to burst a fuse, desperate to send us down and I can’t for the life of me remember what we’ve ever done to them?

Every Villa fan I spoke to before and after the match (and there was a canny few – I’ll talk to anyone me, I mean I’m even talking to you now aren’t I…) didn’t want us to go down – so where did the 30,000 who did come from?

Anyway, they’re on my list now (it’s getting long my list) and, as we all know, football is cyclical and what goes around comes around. Twenty years ago Man Utd were a mid-table team with a barely known Scottish manager who most of their fans wanted sacked. So there’ll come a time when we can do them a bad turn and when that happens I’ll be there laughing my head off at them. Well that’s if any of the fickle fuckers turn up. These are the same fans who were booing Martin O’ Neill and their team off the pitch a few games ago – in fact if there’s any justice in the world at all then their chairman – the admirable Mr Lerner and Ashley will swap clubs – now that’d be funny!

Reasons to be cheerful 1...2...3

1. My book ‘I’m Rivelino – A Life Of Two Halves’ is being published in the summer and I know of at least three people who’ll buy it so that’s a pint I can afford.
2. When Newcastle go down under the stewardship of Messrs Ashley (fat cunt), Wise (evil little dwarf cunt) and Llambias (greasy cockney spiv cunt) then we’ll play more games on a Saturday, probably win more as we’re in a shiter division and that incompetent fat virgin will lose half of his investment overnight.
3. I’m going drinking with Danny King (top author bloke – if you haven’t discovered him yet you should) in a few weeks and then I’m off to see The Specials the next night with the Wolverhampton mob – woohoo!

Just thought I’d share that with you all.

Later.

Separated at Birth? Part 3...

Mike Ashley / Chris Moyles

Let’s consider the evidence shall we: -

• Chris Moyles is the world’s unfunniest man and Mike Ashley appointed a former casino owner and cockney spiv (Derek Llambias) to destroy Newcastle United which has left no-one laughing.

• They both suffer from an inflated sense of self-importance. Moyles proclaims himself ‘The Saviour of Radio 1’ – an organisation that has been running since before he was born and will still be going strong after his obesity kills him. Ashley seems to think he knows more about football than Kevin Keegan and as a consequence has wrecked the club that represents my city.

• They surround themselves with sycophants with no qualifications for their jobs other than the ability to do as they’re told. Moyles ‘people’ are required to laugh at his ‘jokes’ and Ashley’s ‘staff’ well, they’re simply required to get Newcastle United relegated...Dennis Wise anyone?

• They’re both fat, ugly bastards who are probably virgins.

• I hate them both.

That is all..

Everything is Average Nowadays - Part 9

Politicians who are getting all hysterical about Fred Goodwin’s gold plated pension deal and are demanding that he ‘does the right thing’ – don’t make me laugh you amoral, corrupt, grasping cunts, the hypocrisy emanating from you self righteous fuckers is sickening; Mike Ashley – we’re going down, you caused it, don’t try to convince us otherwise you nepotistic fat wanker; Chris Moyles – no particular reason this time I just fucking hate him; Cats that drag dead birds into your garden and leave them there – hope the fox gets you and does the same you little twats; Regional news that isn’t actually about your region – what’s that all about; Dennis Wise – Mike Ashleys gay lover; Agent Million from the Premium Bonds – he appears to have lost my address; People on Facebook who earnestly join every ‘cause’ going and feel the need to send these ‘causes’ on to me – fuck off, I don’t care; Whoever decided the Euro should be worth the same as the pound thus fucking up my little trip to Berlin; Joe Kinnear – Mike Ashleys dad; Whoever ‘slimed’ Peter Mandelson – she should have fucking punched him, missed opportunity there methinks; Derek Llambias – Mike Ashley’s bookie; All the left wing worthy’s who are jumping on the ‘Slumdog Millionaire is just poverty porn and it’s wrong’ bandwagon – fuck off it’s a good film and you’re just trying to be alternative, you sad, polo neck jumper wearing, ex-student, fuckwits; Whoever invented gardening – tosspot.

Aah – that’s better. Carry on.

The Civic and The Spiv...

When you’re thinking of a big night out you don’t really think of Wolverhampton do you?

You think Rio de Janeiro, New york, Barcelona, Newcastle upon Tyne (see how I slipped that in…), Los Angeles, Hong Kong et al

Wolverhampton probably doesn’t enter the equation BUT if you like pubs without poseurs, proper music with guitars in it and friendly locals (well no-one tried to hit me anyway) then I can heartily recommend the home of the Yam Yams.

And, if you end up there, can I suggest you patronise the two ‘Civics’ both ‘Little’ and ‘Big’ – particularly when the indie club night ‘Blast Off’ is on – fucking class man.

Anyway, in short, proper bars, proper music, proper good time.

Speaking of things that are ‘proper’ I noticed that the very opposite of that word was in the local Tyneside papers this week. Derek Llambias, the man in charge at Newcastle United (I use the word ‘man’ in it’s loosest possible sense as I’m of the opinion he’s a cowardly fucking spiv personally) deigned to give an interview and basically said that they’re in charge (‘they’ being the cockney mafia currently destroying the club through a combination of incompetence, pig-headedness and maelevolence) we’ll do as we’re told and anyway they don’t care what we think anyway so ner ner ner ner ner.

I’m in two minds as to whether I can be arsed to write an open letter to the bloke via the aformentioned local press and the various fanzines I’m on good terms with or whether I should just wait outside his house with a bat….I just divvent kna like.

Anyway, I’d best get back to work before anyone realises this is what I actually do all day and sticks me on the redundancy list but if I do write that letter you can all see it first...just before I go to court for libel.

See you later.

Big Bad Wolves...

I’m all excited this week.

‘Why’s that,’ I hear you ask, ‘surely a grizzled old cynic such as yourself doesn’t get excited about anything Mr. Fasthands?’

I’ll tell you why – it’s the first big boys beano of the year on Saturday, the lads are travelling from Scotland, the Toon and Oxfordshire and we’re hitting Wolverhampton HARD - I cannit wait!

Obviously there’s also been a couple of things that have got my goat lately:-

Mike Ashley – Fat Liar

Dennis Wise – Insidious, Machiavellian dwarf with ‘little man’ complex

Derek Llambias – Arthur Daley’s smugger and stupider brother

Corrupt politicians in the House of Lords – Surprised? Not really.

The whole South of England coming to a standstill because it snowed – puffs.

Redundancies at work and the backbiting, moaning and bitching that has accompanied it – bunch of arse like.

Peter Mandelson – I’m alright Jack.

Anyway, bollocks to all that, I’m in too much of a good mood to let all of those plums spoilt it.

Have a good one kids – I know I will!

The Good, The Bad and the proper fucking Ugly.

Happy (belated) new year – hope you all had a good festive season.

Anyway, on with this shite:-

The Good
The first Big Boys Beano of 2009 is fast approaching. It will see hordes of us descending on Wolverhampton, home of a Cockney exile, in order to drink the town dry and cry about our hangovers the next morning.


The Bad
The firm I work at has placed everyone on a ’90 day redundancy consultation period’ while they decide who to get rid of following Subaru’s pulling out of the World Rally Championship.

The Proper Fucking Ugly

The Mike ashley/Dennis Wise/Derek Llambias axis of evil. All ugly bastards. FACT.


On an unrelated note I’ve submitted the first novel I ever wrote (the mighty Maxwell’s Silver Hammer) to a small indie publisher I discovered – owt happens you’ll be first to know. On a note unrelated to that, Byker Books have mentioned that they’ll be releasing ‘Radgepacket2’ at the end of Feb – I’m not in it but I know someone who is – here’s a look at the cover.





If it’s owt like the last one it’ll be good.


Now wrap up warm this weekend won’t you – I’ve just read that the EU will be taking our gas reserves to help out fellow european member states, good old Tony and Gordon selling us all out like that eh…..

Blood and Blunders...

You’re probably wondering why I haven’t posted for a few weeks? Well there’s a simple answer to that – I’m a lazy bastard!

Nah, only kidding…well actually I’m not, I am a lazy bastard…but I do have mitigating circumstances.

I managed to somehow slash three of my fingers whilst using a chainsaw in a manly fashion*, resulting in claret gushing everywhere and lots of gauze, bandages and surrogate stitches (plastic strip things). All of this didn’t actually physically stop me from typing but it put me off enough to stop me doing it.

Obviously as a hard northern bastard I still went out on the drink at my nephews Eighteenth birthday party the same night though, hey – you’ve gotta have priorities right?

Anyway, not posting anything has given me the chance to re-appraise the situation at Newcastle United and take a cool, detached and methodical view of it all.

My conclusion is still that Denis Wise is the devil incarnate, Mike Ashley is a bumbling fat fool with a ‘please like me’ complex and Derek Llambias, the anonymous chairman, is a dick of the highest order who wears ridiculous glasses in an attempt to look Mike Read his cockney idol.

That’s them telt.

Oh, I went to see Paddy McGuiness last night and he was as filthy, rude and funny as usual. His support act, whose name I forget, was very good as well and told us all what to do when confronted with those knobs who smoke on buses. I shan’t go into detail, suffice to say I’d never heard the term passive wanking before!

I’ll leave you with that – have a good one.

Ps – Just heard about Joe Kinnear (aka Mate of the goggle eyed, cock sucking, taxi driver assaulting dwarf) taking over the toon on an interim basis – fuck me I’m depressed…

* it wasn’t a chainsaw it was a tin but don’t tell anyone I’m trying to build up a hardman rep….

North East...enders.

I would just like to put to bed the scurrilous rumours that Newcastle United are to be renamed Walford FC, the catering staff will only be serving Jellied eels from now on, the team will be running out to ‘knees up Mother Brown’ and that Shearers Bar will be re-named ‘The Queen Vic’.

This is obviously nonsense…everyone knows that the caterers will also be doing Pie and Mash…

Good luck to all the protesters, shouters, boycotters and heed the balls in Newcastle tomorrow – let that fat cunt and his evil little sidekick know exactly what you think of them.

Ps – Of course I wouldn’t for one second advocate violence or lawless behaviour on the aforementioned obese one and his cock sucking dwarf buddy but if it happens then rest assured I’ll be the first one to piss my self laughing!

Conspiracy Corner...

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Cockney Rejects....

*Sigh*

I’m having a shite week. Another rejection from an agent, my job’s crap and, worst of all, my hero has been driven from my club by a pack of cowardly, power hungry, not fit to lace his boots, cockney* Cunts!!

I’ve written a quick article about it for Players Inc (as seen on the BBC 1 Ten O Clock news Thursday 4th Sept) and attached it below.

He’s a dwarf a dwarf….

Mike Ashley has done a lot of good stuff since he took over at Newcastle United. Long term season tickets payable in installments, extended family section, consultation with fans, the singing section and even letting flags into games again. Yes, Mike Ashley has done a lot of good things since he took over.

On Thursday 4th September he wiped out every bit of goodwill he’d built up in one stroke when he chose his friend Dennis Wise over the one man in his whole setup that actually cares about Newcastle United – Kevin Keegan.

This allegedly astute businessman managed to lose an entire city of paying customers for all of his businesses in one go.

In truth this had been building for a while. Since Chris Mort left, the communication emanating from the club has been non-existent but Keegans body language and general patter weren’t right and we’d all started to notice.

He stated unequivocally that ‘James Milner is the last person I would like to see leave this club’ and a few days later Milner was gone with Kev saying ‘It was my decision.’

It patently wasn’t but Wor Kev seemed upbeat, telling us all ’Judge me when the transfer window shuts.’ I was happy at that because I knew that Kev meant there was quality players coming in and he’d never let us down before on that score – unfortunately we were all unaware that he wasn’t in charge of acquiring them anymore, the buying and selling is down to Dennis Wise.

It is blatantly obvious that Keegan had been promised a player better than James Milner by the ‘recruitment team’ (Bastian Schweinsteiger apparently ) and come Monday night when the window slammed shut it was also obvious that they’d lied to him.

With all due respect to the two players brought in they weren’t what the manager wanted, a forward to go with the five we already have and a twenty six year old midfielder who was loaned out to us immediately after signing for his new club – how good is he going to be then?

Unlike the rest of the miscreants that make up the mamangement of Newcastle United Kevin Keegan is a man of principle and honour and there is no way he can allow himself to be used to lie to the fans so Llambias and his cockney posse can pursue their own hidden agenda.

Indeed Derek Llambias, ex casino manager and good mate of Mike Ashley (the only qualification needed for a top job at the toon these days) was seen at the Arsenal match entertaining David O Leary – now one of the favourites to replace Wor Kev. if I was to suggest there was a conspiracy by the cockney boys to push out Keegan and install their own puppet then that would obviously only be my opinion – bears thinking about though doesn’t it?

Unfortunately for Dennis Wise (could there be a less apt surname?), Llambias and the other one (what the fuck is his name??) they’ve made a major mistake if they think they can treat Kevin Keegan with contempt and patronise both him and us, dismissing the fanbase as insignificant.

The entire city is up in arms at the disgraceful treatment of our club and of Keegan and, for once, there are moves afoot to do something about it. I’ve heard talk of match boycotts, mass protests and general awkward behaviour not just in and out of St. James but also within Ashley’s other businesses. This will hit him where it really hurts his type – in the pocket – and it will also put him squarely in the media spotlight a position he doesn’t relish one bit.

Apparently there is an indian consortium looking to buy the Toon, if Ashley has any sense he will sell up and ship out back to jellied eel land, unfortunately, as he proved when backing the odious little cockney dwarf over Keegan, he obviously doesn’t have any.

This could get interesting.

Howay the lads


Here’s a question though :-

If Ashley was so anxious to get rid of Barton for the ‘shame’ he brought to Newcastle then how come he is so ready to defend the poisonous little arsehole that is Dennis Wise?

Lest we forget Dennis has ‘form’ for attacking taxi drivers and setting about a team mate and breaking his jaw during training (how come the the tabloid journalists haven’t made that connection yet? Oh hold on Dennis is from London isn’t he…)

Any man that chooses Dennis Wise over Kevin keegan is obviously a clueless twat and therefore does not deserve my support.

GET OUT ASHLEY – TAKE WISE AND LLAMBIAS WITH YOU AND PISS OFF BACK TO YOUR JELLIED EELS AND YOUR BARROW YOU BUNCH OF COCKNEY WANKERS.*


* Sorry Tel…