Sunday, 13 December 2009

Everything is Average Nowadays - Part 10

Chris Moyles - Unfunny fat prick who tried to 'wittily' mock Terry Wogan at a recent 'do' only to find that, as ever, when he hasn't got a script and a bunch of chortling sycophants his 'banter' is seen for the plain humourless rudeness that it really is...oh and Wogan wipes the floor with your listening figures you fucking obese knobjockey so fuck off; Boilers that cease to work properly in winter despite you only having them for five poxy years - moral of story, never, ever buy a Potterton boiler as they're shit and the company don't want to know; Spammers who try to flood your blog with adverts for Viagra, hoo man we're all proper blokes on here and we can all get hard ons without assistance, find a mackem site and they'll welcome you with open arms; Mike Ashley, club raping, asset stripping, pie munching, cock sucking, fat cunt; Sozzled charvas complete with requisite 'leisure wear' and gold sitting behind you at premier boxing events - wankers; People who mob supermarkets, walk slowly, stop without warning, hit you with their trolleys and try to buy everything they can see just cos it's Christmas - IT ONLY CLOSES FOR ONE FUCKING DAY YOU BUNCH OF SHEEP; Their fat, ungrateful offspring who whine on and on whilst blocking your way to the booze - just shut up and move out of my way you X Factor fodder; Students, no reason just fucking hate them; Derek Llambias, the 'comical Ali' of Ashley's cockney mafia - just go back to your jellied eels you shite spouting, lie telling, dishonest, history re-writing cunt, go on piss off; Politicians, absolute scum of the earth - no explanantion needed; And Finally...Jordan AKA Katie Price AKA spiritual leader of Britain's charva classes ...look love, you're not pretty, all that plastic isn't sexy and you come across like the most horrible woman in the world do yourself, and more importantly your kids (remember them eh?) a favour and put some clothes on, cease ya whining and stop behaving like an out of control slag... then give Kerry Katona a ring to arrange some etiquette lessons you monstrous fucking shrieking harridan!

Ah that's better, spleen vented and calm returning.

That's it from me for 2009 kids. I hope you all have a good Christmas and a prosperous 2010.