Move over Nick Hornby....

Now then, bit of news for you all today.

I’ve been talking to the lads at Byker Books and they’re rather keen on publishing my book about Newcastle United and me – the superbly titled (I would say that wouldn’t I) ‘I’m Rivelino – A Life of Two Halves.’

They’re confident they can get it out by August in time for the new season and they’re working on it as we speak – good news eh!

While I won’t become a millionaire (or probably even a hundredaire for that matter) and it’s not like I’m a properly published fiction author I will have a book with my name on it.

They’ve also mentioned a couple of small signings as well so I’m digging out my eccentric authors costume as we speak – I’m thinking flat cap, jumper and scarf a la’ Albert Steptoe what do you reckon?

Anyway, good news for me and as things progress I’ll make sure you know first.

See you later

The Civic and The Spiv...

When you’re thinking of a big night out you don’t really think of Wolverhampton do you?

You think Rio de Janeiro, New york, Barcelona, Newcastle upon Tyne (see how I slipped that in…), Los Angeles, Hong Kong et al

Wolverhampton probably doesn’t enter the equation BUT if you like pubs without poseurs, proper music with guitars in it and friendly locals (well no-one tried to hit me anyway) then I can heartily recommend the home of the Yam Yams.

And, if you end up there, can I suggest you patronise the two ‘Civics’ both ‘Little’ and ‘Big’ – particularly when the indie club night ‘Blast Off’ is on – fucking class man.

Anyway, in short, proper bars, proper music, proper good time.

Speaking of things that are ‘proper’ I noticed that the very opposite of that word was in the local Tyneside papers this week. Derek Llambias, the man in charge at Newcastle United (I use the word ‘man’ in it’s loosest possible sense as I’m of the opinion he’s a cowardly fucking spiv personally) deigned to give an interview and basically said that they’re in charge (‘they’ being the cockney mafia currently destroying the club through a combination of incompetence, pig-headedness and maelevolence) we’ll do as we’re told and anyway they don’t care what we think anyway so ner ner ner ner ner.

I’m in two minds as to whether I can be arsed to write an open letter to the bloke via the aformentioned local press and the various fanzines I’m on good terms with or whether I should just wait outside his house with a bat….I just divvent kna like.

Anyway, I’d best get back to work before anyone realises this is what I actually do all day and sticks me on the redundancy list but if I do write that letter you can all see it first...just before I go to court for libel.

See you later.

Big Bad Wolves...

I’m all excited this week.

‘Why’s that,’ I hear you ask, ‘surely a grizzled old cynic such as yourself doesn’t get excited about anything Mr. Fasthands?’

I’ll tell you why – it’s the first big boys beano of the year on Saturday, the lads are travelling from Scotland, the Toon and Oxfordshire and we’re hitting Wolverhampton HARD - I cannit wait!

Obviously there’s also been a couple of things that have got my goat lately:-

Mike Ashley – Fat Liar

Dennis Wise – Insidious, Machiavellian dwarf with ‘little man’ complex

Derek Llambias – Arthur Daley’s smugger and stupider brother

Corrupt politicians in the House of Lords – Surprised? Not really.

The whole South of England coming to a standstill because it snowed – puffs.

Redundancies at work and the backbiting, moaning and bitching that has accompanied it – bunch of arse like.

Peter Mandelson – I’m alright Jack.

Anyway, bollocks to all that, I’m in too much of a good mood to let all of those plums spoilt it.

Have a good one kids – I know I will!