Friday 15 January 2010

Why we will all die in the first snow storm after 2035...

No 10 Downing Street in the year of our Lord 2035. The minister for spin and blatant lie telling is anxiously pacing up and down the PM's office whilst his aide looks worriedly on

Minister for being a lying horrible bastard: Where's the bloody PM? The country's come to a standstill with this snow. There's no shops open, the police have all rang in sick, the power stations are failing and there's no industry at all going on...in fact the muggers, rapists and burglars are the only fuckers doing any work!

Aide: Calm down Mr. Mandelson, it's not that bad...

Mandelson: Not that bad! The Chinese are ready to invade because the fucking Army are saying they can't get to work in the snow and The Navy are all off frigging sledging. Not that bad...Jesus, where is he?

Aide: He's playing on his Nintendo.

Mandelson: WHAT!

Aide: Well it is a snow day sir.

Mandelson: What the fucking fuck is a fucking snow day you fucker?

Aide: We were all taught at school in 2010 that if it snowed a little bit or things got difficult then you had to give up and stay at home....in fact weren't you part of the government that encouraged that?

The Dark Lord: Bugger.

4 comments:

cousin tel said...

The scariest thing about that is that you think mandelson will still be around in 2035

Rivs said...

He's been around since Jesus Christ had his moment of doubt and pain, made damn sure Pilate washed his hands and sealed his fate....

Stef said...

As one who hasn't had a single snow day ...what the fucking fuck is a fucking snow day you fucker?

Daz said...

Good point but in 2035 the global warming will have chinned all the snow and we'll all be living on 10 a week after we've payed farenheight tax