Saturday, 30 January 2010

Gannin Radge again...

Alreet,

I've managed to blag my way into another edition of the mighty 'Radgepacket' series. Volume Four will apparently have over twenty stories in it and feature the likes of Ray Banks and Danny King all for the canny low price of only £5.99 - bargain!

Byker Books are having a launch event for the book at 'The Back Page' in Newcastle on 13th March at 15:00ish where I'm reliably informed there'll be booze (that's me in like!) and some good banter - get yourself along man!

Oh, and this is what the cover's going to look like by all accounts :-



Looks good to me - see you there.

Friday, 15 January 2010

Why we will all die in the first snow storm after 2035...

No 10 Downing Street in the year of our Lord 2035. The minister for spin and blatant lie telling is anxiously pacing up and down the PM's office whilst his aide looks worriedly on

Minister for being a lying horrible bastard: Where's the bloody PM? The country's come to a standstill with this snow. There's no shops open, the police have all rang in sick, the power stations are failing and there's no industry at all going on...in fact the muggers, rapists and burglars are the only fuckers doing any work!

Aide: Calm down Mr. Mandelson, it's not that bad...

Mandelson: Not that bad! The Chinese are ready to invade because the fucking Army are saying they can't get to work in the snow and The Navy are all off frigging sledging. Not that bad...Jesus, where is he?

Aide: He's playing on his Nintendo.

Mandelson: WHAT!

Aide: Well it is a snow day sir.

Mandelson: What the fucking fuck is a fucking snow day you fucker?

Aide: We were all taught at school in 2010 that if it snowed a little bit or things got difficult then you had to give up and stay at home....in fact weren't you part of the government that encouraged that?

The Dark Lord: Bugger.