Friday, 15 February 2008

Everything is average nowadays- Part 6

Can you hear that?


That faint rumbling sound in the distance - hear it now?


Do you know what it is?

That's right - it's a Fasthands rant and it's coming your way NOW.

Sports journalists on national 'newspapers' with an obvious agenda against certain clubs from the north; Kerry Katona - professional 'celebrity'; Ed Balls and Yvette Cooper - ministers who rake in over six hundred thousand pounds a year thanks to clever manipulation of their couple status and expenses forms whilst all the time supporting a government that reduces pensions for people who still live together as couples - hypocritical scumbags; Roy Keane - the 'world class' (Niall Quinns words-not mine) manager who recently had Sunderland players pretending to be sheep in a 'team bonding' exercise - mug; That bint who filmed her mates kicking an innocent bloke to death on her mobile - she's now hopefully going to prison and won't be looking forward to the happy slapping she'll be getting; Salesmen, canvassers and cold callers - get off my doorstep it's teatime; Macdonalds bacon rolls - one slice of bacon...FUCKING ONE!; Steven Spielberg, resigns from the olympic thing because of China's role in Darfur - wasn't he aware of what they were like before he took the aforementioned role or has he got a film coming out soon and would welcome the publicity - I wonder which it could be; Ashley Cole - you stupid, stupid bastard; Hard-Fi/Arctic Monkeys - their second album was shite; West Midlands Police - any excuse to nick a northerner you officious pricks; Students; Politicians in general and last, but not least, the inconsiderate wanker that continues to park outside my house thus stopping me from doing so.

They all boil my piss.

Have a good weekend.


Daz said...

Please add the following to your list:
1. New bosses at work who intimate the renumeration package you were promised for your new role may only be a short-term award.
2. Richard Scudamore

Rivs said...

Aye that colic's a right bastard.....apparently.