Wednesday, 20 August 2008

Last night a DJ saved my life...

Right, forgive me but I’m about to go off on one now.

Loads of important world events happened on Monday/ Tuesday, for instance :-

• The Pakistani president resigned – a worrying development where terrorism is concerned
• Our Olympians accrued loads more medals
• The Russians were leaving Georgia and then they weren’t then they were again – implications for world peace/war are massive
• Our economy is still fucked and people are at the point of existing rather than living

With this in mind what do you think the lead story on some downmarket, super soaraway, tabloids and, more to the point, our national radio station was?

I’ll tell you.

‘Jade Goody has cancer’


‘You know man Jade Goody, ignorant, illiterate, racist embarrassment to our whole nation, famous only for being stupid and getting her fanny out on television.’

‘Oh her – why’s her doctor told everyone then? Surely that’s something you’d keep private?’

‘Well her doctor didn’t tell her. She was informed she had it whilst in the diary room of the Indian version of Big Brother by her agent who then told the tabloids’.

‘Oh fuck off.’

Now If Ms goody has cancer then she has my sympathy. I know people who’ve beaten it, people who still have it and sadly I’ve known people who couldn’t fight it. None of them made the news on a radio station that I am forced to pay for and they were/are all ten times better people than she is but that’s not my point.

Why on earth would it be headline news all fucking day? Is there nothing else worthy of being the main headline on a national radio station in a supposedly civilised, first world country? Has the national IQ been so dumbed down that the wellbeing of an anonymous wannabe is crucial to our morale?

This country’s fucked and frankly, it’s the media that’s providing the KY Jelly!

Ps – as well as that I also had to endure Chris Moyles doing his ‘hilarious’ Geordie impersonation again yesterday, it was almost as funny as the time he was on ‘Never mind the Buzzocks’ and stayed very quiet when confronted with real funny people. I recall him crying to the papers afterwards that they’d picked on him.

Just like school Chris eh? It’s always the fat, ugly prick that gets bullied…

PPs - Some fucker's getting it today like....


Yvonne Young said...

Apparently JG knew that she may have cancer before she went into the reality show set up, needed the monet apparently, but a bit of dignity here wouldn`t have gone amiss. She may be angling for the sympathy vote for what she did in the BB House.

By the way Christopher Brookmyre is scheduled at the Laing Art Gallery on 26th August from 2-4 for the promotion of his book A Snowball in Hell.

Dazlar said...

You still haven't got over Jade having a book published have you? ...Actually now i know what to get you for christmas.
P.S. Does anyone know if Chris Moyles has done a book? ha ha

Rivs said...

Hello Yvonne,

I was meant to meet CB last week in Cheltenham but he stood me up without a word of warning - it cost me 80 miles worth of petrol, half a days holiday and a pissed off wife, he's not on my xmas card list!!

Daz - Fuck off!



Yvonne Young said...

Methinks that one is well pissed off with said person, whoops, he`s just missed a sale. Yvonne

Rivs said...

He did indeed as I took back the hardcover version of his book I'd bought only the day previous and got my money back.

No-one messes fasthands about!!!!

cousin tel said...

As your mate Danny King suggested an up his own arse twat, now about Chris Moyles.........