Friday, 29 June 2007

Everything is Average nowadays - Part 3

Politicians of all affiliations but particularly those ones who swap parties to join whoever's winning at the time - tosspots; Mercenary footballers who just use proper working class clubs to enhance their international aspirations and then agitate for a move when the 'corporate brand' clubs start sniffing about; New cars that break down on your way to work the second day you have them; Students - especially the really annoying ones who go on to run the country; Shit televison that insults my intelligence - 'Wags off Fags' - Fuck off; Henmania - Jesus what's the point; Brazilians who try to nick your regular readers for their website; Getting chinned when you're only meant to be doing light sparring;Being thirty seven in two weeks - the last thing I remember is taking that pill on my twenty first birthday in Madisons; People who slag off Ricky Hatton; Insurance administration fees - fifteen quid for ten minutes, eight of which you spend on hold;Little boys with guns and knives; Little girls who egg on little boys with guns and knives;Chris Moyles - knob; Taxi Drivers who feel the need to sound their horn loudly in the morning; Fat people who claim it's all in the genes; Smokers who winge about the new rules - tell someone who gives a fuck; Graeme Souness.

Each and everyone is a steaming pile of putrid shite.


THE-SHADO said...

fuck me Rivs, you are in a good mood this morning. However, I agree with, hmmm, most of your points, but a little harsh on the taxi drivers I think, have you tried sounding your horn quietly? It's a horn, you moaning cunt!!!!

Rivs said...

Why don't the fat lazy bastards get out of their cars and knock on the door? Wouldn't kill them would it? They'd probably expect a bigger tip then though for actually performing a bit of customer service!

Yeh - I'm in a great mood - I love working here me.

Daz said...

On the subject of mercenary footballers why hasn't anyone given Henry stick?
This is the same Henry who whinged like fuck about the Barcelona players throwing themselves to the ground after they beat Arsenal in the Champions League Final. He claimed they were like women and he wouldn't allow himself to play that way. Just shows even the great players are really cunts when there's money and personal glory at stake.
I agree about the taxi drivers as well - cunt's the lot of them.

Rivs said...

Because Henry's not as good as Shola so nobody cares.

THE-SHADO said...

I've got a cunning plan Mr Rivers, why don't you leave your current job and get a job as the UK's finest customer driven (or customer driver) taxi driver, you could wear a hat and knock on doors, maybe even open the occasional door for that 'special' customer?. You could ferry pigs to the pigs! (catchy).
Except Daz would hate you and think your a cunt. You cunt.

PS I'm not asking again, DO YOU HAVE A EMAIL ADDRESS so I don't have to communicate to you using this comments board and I can call you a cunt direct to you inbox. I might even knock first?


cousin tel said...

Taxi drivers who drive around in front of you at 1 mile an hour looking for an address, get a fucking tomtom you cheapskate cunts. (give that man your email address for fuck sake)