Tuesday, 31 July 2007

Everything is average nowadays - part 4

Having David Brent as your real life boss; School holidays - six weeks? Get them sweeping fucking chimneys; People who think motorsport is an actual sport rather than a procession of overpriced chunks of metal; Middle class affectees of working class accents - eg Lily Allen; Anybody who tries to talk to me about Big Brother or the attention seeking plums who've been on it;Chris Martin, Bono, Bob Geldof and all of the other bleeding hearts who can't wait to give the world their views when there's a disaster on the other side of the globe but haven't opened their mouths once while their own countrymen are dying - hypocritical bastards; My fat, shell suit wearing, cockney neighbours; People who dump tab ends on the pavement outside pubs; Dafties who let their dogs loose whilst I'm walking my brother in laws thirteen stone rhodesian ridgeback - what do they think's going to happen; Polish Immigrants who dislike whichever shitty bedsit they're living in so much that they've turned my local park into an extension of their garden and sit there drinking most evenings; Coppers who, despite the aforementioned drinking being a contravention of a local byelaw, are too scared to do anything about it - try parking in the wrong place though and there'll be a riot van straight on you; Students; That Mika nob who sings about big girls being beautiful - they're not, they're scary; Politicians obviously and finally, ridiculously out of touch Judges that think an ASBO or a community sentence is any kind of deterrent to anybody - anyone who wishes to join the judiciary should be made to live on a council estate with these twats for a year as part of their training, we might see some proper sentences then (mind you it's not like there's any prisons to put the shitbags anyway is it).

Bucketnuts the lot of them!

6 comments:

THE-SHADO said...

Tell me what happened to the dafties dogs. Please.

Rivs said...

They learned that they can't beat a dog that was originally bred to hunt lions in a fight - knuckle dragging fuckwits shouldn't be allowed to have pets much less walk them anywhere near me.

Daz said...

An excellent spectrum of averageness Rivs. Normally i'd add a few of my own but barring the rip-off doctors letter scam i mentined yesterday, i think you've cover all the bases. Well done.

Rivs said...

Why Thank you - I like to think I'm an expert on being shite!

cousin tel said...

bosses who ask for your feedback then get all defensive when you give it to them, old people who buy mobile phones that they clearly can't work so have to come back to your shop every time they want to make a call, people who stand in doorways...move, people who suddenly stop walking in the street, pregnant women who go to asda for potatoes and milk and come back with bananas and a cardigan and then ask you to go, women again for not understanding why a new 37" lcd with hd is an essential item and not a luxury

Rivs said...

Get it off ya chest Tel!